Change Is Coming
There I was, lounging on the couch flipping through YouTube videos of people doing stupid things. The things people would do for entertainment… I wasn’t really satisfied with what I was watching and I knew that there were better, more productive things to do, but I had reasoned with myself that it was the “last week of my old paradigms”, so I kept watching. Subby was as comfortable as an old shoe.
The end of the week came and it was time to start the MKE. I was as ready as I could be… or was I?
Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
The morning of Day 1 was like every other day; subby happily executed my morning routine, but soon the jig was up. I’ve been through a Master’s degree, so the workload felt manageable, but it’s one thing when you’re focusing on academia and another when you’re focusing on changing your life’s blueprint. The thing is, subby and I have been in a “situationship”, where I don’t always know what is going on. It blew my mind to learn that 95% of the day, we operate on the programs in our subconscious!
I have not been a friend of change and I’ve been comfortable with that (the irony is not lost on me there) and somewhere during the course of Day 1, when I had to sit perfectly still for 15 minutes, I thought “this just got real”. It was also during that time, body still and mind wandering (nothing new there), that I realised just how far I had allowed subby to run a malfunctioning program.
Interestingly, even though I knew that the world within is a reflection of the world without, I don’t think I realised just how powerful subby is, because if I truly realised how powerful my thoughts are, I would never think a negative thought again. I still lived the way I did. I say “lived”, because that is not the way I am living now. Today, I am a new person. It sounds easy, but if it were, everyone would be doing it. It’s the reason I’m on this journey – my thoughts – I was living in a wasteland of my own making, watching the world from my comfort zone. Nothing was changing, because I wasn’t changing. Was it really that comfortable among the carcasses of my dreams that had “died” along the way? It’s only been a week and slowly, I have begun to revive those dreams just by going from doing nothing to doing something.
Change Is A Decision Away
There were definitely challenges I had to face during this week of the MKE and it’s actually just a case of “it’s not you, it’s me”. Reading things aloud, knowing there is someone in the house who can hear me (even if they’re also on the same journey as me), was very daunting so I would close myself off in a room somewhere. I wasn’t going to let that stop me. When I read the first Scroll though, there was just something that came alive in me and there, hidden away in a room, I read that scroll like I was delivering lines in a theatrical production! It’s the small changes I’m making everyday with the MKE that is going add up to something big and making the decision to go on this journey is the best thing I could have done for myself. I know that things are going to get more uncomfortable as the weeks progress, but I’m tired of living as an onion plant. I am an olive tree!